Clear as the rushing waters ...

You haven't seen a referendum go rushing past by any chance, have you?

The SNP, Scotland's Party, has a straightforward policy on the referendum policy - a couple of years to allow people to discuss independence in the National Conversation and then Scotland decides in a referendum.

The other parties (excepting your Green presence) have a far more intricate dance -

First there was the gathering of the three 'leaders' to plot the downfall of those nasty Nats.

"When shall we three meet again,
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"
"When the hurly-burly's done,
When the battle's lost and won."
"That will be ere the set of sun."
"Where the place?"
"Upon the heath."
"There to meet with Macbeth."
"I come, Greymalkin!"
"Paddock calls."
"Anon!"
"Fair is foul, and foul is fair:Hover through the fog and filthy air."

Then there was the cunning wheeze of holding a debate in Parliament to force the creation of a Commission to consider how best to stop those terrible separatists, followed by a quick double-shuffle on the part of the Gordfather in an attempt to take control of a situation where everyone had come to the same opinion - restoration of more powers to Scotland was vital. This means, of course, that the motion passed in Parliament is incompetent, but they'll just ignore it.

Then there was the "Referendum Now" movement followed closely by the "When I said now what I really meant was the SNP can't get it all their own way, we're going to watch something very carefully to see if it moves" movement, leaving poor wee Malky the Chis fending off questions with the stunning observation that those diabolical devils (I know, but cut me some slack) will now be terrified of Labour's Parliamentary tactics while the Wendibles sauntered off with her pet brick saying "Fooled them that time, didn't we Rover?"

Now we've got someone fluffing their lines at Conservative Party Conference and saying that Scotland isn't allowed to have a wee vote on our future.

Not content with the last tango in Paisley from the last sojourn, Labour returned to stand up with Iain Gray saying that Labour now opposes the question in the first referendum but it'll insist on a second referendum after opposing the first.

The Cunning Plans, eh? You should hear their war poetry ...