Wendy Alexander is Schrödinger's cat

First of all, let's give a big welcome to any physicists who have dropped by with quizzical looks on their faces.

For those who don't know why you shouldn't ask Schrödinger to look after Tiddles when you're off sunning yourself in Thurso, he was trying to illuminate a paradox implicit in the measurement problem (I blame Bohr, it's easier if you ignore most of it and just go with measuring a thing is what makes it real, don't look at the bit about how it means that our existence now affects history before we existed, that's a bad thing to get inside your head. Physicists - you wait ages for one and then none come along at the same time).

Here it goes - take a cat, put it in a box (wear stout gloves) with a radioactive source which will decay within an hour and a Geiger counter connected to a device which will kill the cat if the source decays. Leave it an hour...
Of course, the radioactive source, being unobserved, is in a superposition and so neither decays nor doesn't decay and the cat is therefore neither alive nor dead but is itself in a superposition in which it will stay until you open the box and look at it whereupon it will become one or the other. Oh, look it up yourself - categorical.

Anyway, Wendy Alexander is Schrödinger's cat.

You see, she's neither innocent nor guilty and neither honest nor dishonest (or perhaps she's both innocent and guilty as well as honest and dishonest) because we don't know what's going on inside that box. She emits little particles of carefully selected information - some of which have proven to be lies - but never reveals the whole truth, ask about all the emails I say.

She hangs on tenterhooks for the Electoral Commission but doesn't know whether she'll live or die by their report. She and her colleagues cast doubt upon the probity of others - other MSPs to begin with and now public servants. Her own wee brother joined in on Sunday before her henchmen were released for today's papers.
Let us be done with it and open the box, release all the information and let Ms Alexander dance or go in the radioactive luminescence of Schrödinger's box. Have pity on kitty!

I do hope that there's a random physicist has floated in here on the back of a google for Schrödinger's cat - they'll be more confused by Wendy Alexander than anyone else will be by Quantum Theory.