Bambi come home

There have been some bizarre theories about why Gordon Brown waved the wand to bring Bambi back from the dead. I'm waiting for the comparison between the film and Mandelson's career.

I give you the Daily Politics show suggesting that it is Gordon Brown self-harming.

When you have scratched your poor wee head and wondered who's the one with psychological flaws, you might want to turn to Andrew Rawnsley and his theory of former intense intimacy.

Here's my completely uninformed guesswork (as good as anyone else's in my opinion):

The Blair/Brown partnership worked stunningly well because the public narrative had sod all to do with politics. The soap opera they presented to us was of an intense rivalry at the top of Government. Instead of examining what the executive was up to and keeping an eye on all the dodgy activity, the media, and therefore the rest of us, were largely watching (delete as applicable) Yes Minister / The West Wing / The New Statesman / The Thick of It.

The public narrative was about tensions within the Government and when Brown would finally force Blair out and who was on what side, whose Ministers were being promoted, whose apparatchiks were on the wane, a 'battle of the Titans' fought without Titans. Charlie Whelan and Alasdair Campbell made more news than the Leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition. Nobody else could get a chink of the light that was reflecting from the gladiatorial breastplates.

Then Tony left and the odd couple was incomplete. Without that internal battle, the public narrative became about politics and people were becoming readily aware of the incredible shambles that these two eejits had brought upon us. Brown suffered the consequences although Blair was as much to blame.

After attempting politics for a while, el Gordo realises that he isn't very good at it and requires his own blinding narrative. He needs someone who is believable in the Dick Dastardly role and that brings him to (insert manic laughter) Peter Mandelson.

Can't have Bambi appearing to covet the top job, though, it's not credible for a number of reasons including the fact that his party wouldn't have him, he'd be in the Lords (easiest way to bring him back - he'd lose in Glenrothes), he doesn't have the networks anymore, etc., so the internal tension is required from another angle.

Step forward Ed Balls to deny the carefully leaked story that he opposed Mandelson's return to the big hoose.

I'll bet I'm right.