Glenrothes - Lindsay Roy

So there I was thinking to myself "you've had a look at Harry Wills" and I replied "pardon? I wasn't paying attention there, I was cooking this here swordfish." My grammar is appalling sometimes.

What? Oh, lime juice and coarse ground pepper, bit of garlic, Japanese plum sauce, onions, fresh beetroot, baby turnips tomatoes (fresh and sun-dried), baked in the oven - delicious.

Anyway, stop distracting me. We've had a look at Harry Wills (Lib Dem candidate, funny looking wee guy), let's have a look at Lindsay Roy. Do we have to? No, but just for the sake of fairness.

Have a look at Mr Roy's Action Plan for Fife. Remember he's a teacher.

A summary Lindsay’s Action Plan for Fife

Tsk, tsk, tsk, - word missing here is there not? A petty point on its own, but let's keep looking:

Crack down on anti-social behaviour
· visible policing, zero tolerance to drugs, action on underage drinking
· a citizens’ panel to decide where new CCTV should go

A Holyrood matter - I like it, an indication that Labour wants to stop all this carping about demarcation. I take it that Mr Roy will be welcoming the SNP Government's action to provide 1,000 extra police officers (deployment is an operational matter for senior officers). He'll be delighted with the drugs strategy and I suppose he'll be supporting the innovative ideas brought forward by the SNP Government to tackle underage drinking. There you go - first three Labour proposals so far behind the curve that they can't see that the SNP's already delivering.

A citizens' panel for CCTV? Right ...

Fight for more opportunities for young people
· More sports and recreation facilities for Fife , including public consultation with young people to decide where new pitches should go
· campaign against Fife Council privatising golf courses and convene an urgent meeting with top cinema chiefs to start bringing a new cinema to central Fife

How come he thinks that sports and recreation facilities are only for young people? Why is it that he thinks that young people are only interested in sports and recreation? Surely a job or two wouldn't go amiss?

Anyway, Mr Roy must be delighted that Kenny MacAskill is taking money from criminals and using the Cashback for Communities scheme to channel that money into building more sports and recreation facilities across the country, ploughing resources into the arts and creativity as well.

Then again, if Mr Roy thinks that the SNP is a party of privatisation I guess he's not been paying any attention at all - to his own party or to politics in general.

Sort out the roads and buses
· support dualling and upgrading the A92
· demand a clear timetable and funding plan for the Forth Road Bridge that the SNP have delayed
· give powers back to Fifers so local people can make decisions about their buses

Forth Bridge announced by John Swinney after 8 years of Labour and Lib Dem Transport Ministers doing nothing very much. It's started - readallaboutit!

What are the powers he's intending to give back to Fifers to allow local people to make decisions about their buses? Does he mean reregulation - giving the powers back to the council rather than the people? If so, why does he not advocate that?

I don't know what the status of the A92 is. I might even go to the trouble of asking if I get bored.

Another thing - it should be "the SNP has", not "the SNP have". My grammar's not that bad.

Help Fife families through tough times
· benefit “check-ups” to ensure pensioners get the benefits they deserve – including the new, free insulation
· outlaw overcharging people on pre-pay meters and fight the SNP local income tax
· oppose greedy oil bosses who keep petrol costs high

Those'll be the tough times caused by the failure of the Labour Government then, inflation over 5%, unemployment on the rise, banks failing, economy in crisis, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera ...

I see he wants to keep the Council Tax - bizarre. How can anyone who wants to pretend to be on the side of the less affluent want to keep frying them with Council Tax?

Why just pensioners getting benefit checks? What about low income families trying to work out what's what? What about those families struggling to repay Gordon Brown's tax credits? How about the people who got - what's the polite word? Shafted? - by the abolition of the 10p tax rate?

See this outlawing overcharging on prepayment meters? Why has Labour not done that in the 11 years they've been in power?

These greedy oil bosses he's going to fight who keep petrol costs high - is Lindsay Roy taking on OPEC? Would that be an opec struggle? Why not just support the SNP's fuel duty regulator that would do the same thing?

Action plan for Fife?

Boom, boom Mr Roy!

Mind how you go.