Monday, 12 May 2008

She's a pinball Wendy, there has to be a twist ...

I'll admit it, I'm bored with Wendy Alexander. It's got to the stage where it's becoming pointless discussing her position because the position's changed by the time you've made a cup of tea.

Having said that, I think it's worth reading Douglas Fraser's 'last lap for Labour' today - as pointed out by anseo and Brian Taylor's head-shaking over the mess she's got herself into. It was suggested to me a few days ago that she's still playing student politics, and I would agree if it weren't for the fact that student politics isn't as incisive nor as good as it once was (a bit like nostalgia).
Ms Alexander told us on Sunday that there was no such beast as Scottish Labour, that the leader of the Labour Party UK-wide was the leader of Labour in Scotland. The Conservatives have an autonomous Scottish leader, the Greens have an autonomous Scottish leader, and even the Libdems have a Scottish leader. It would appear to be only Labour and UKIP who don't.

So Wendy Alexander is only leader of the Labour group in Parliament - leader of 46 people including herself. Let me say, though, that all is not lost for Labour in Scotland nor for Wendibles.

Why not, you ask.

Well, says I, one of those 46 people led by Wendibles is the redoubtable, the tremendous, the undervalued, the incredible Helen Eadie!
I'll just wait a wee while for the cheering to die down.

Helen is an experienced election strategist well used to tough spots and tricky positions - she served on Jim Callaghan's election planning team - that went well, I thought - and she is just the right person to advise Labour as they slide again - Northern Rock shareholders have offered to buy the 'bankrupt' Labour party under the same rules that the Labour Government forced the nationalisation of Northern Rock.

Experience and steadfastness - that's what Labour needs now. A philosopher is required, someone who can ponder the great verities:
Helen Eadie (Dunfermline East) (Lab): At the outset, I refer members to my entry in the "Register of Interests of Members of the Scottish Parliament" as a Co-operative and Labour Party sponsored member.
Derek Brownlee spoke of the beam above his head. As I sat having a coffee this morning, I heard the almighty noise of a compressor going off directly above where I was sitting. I thought of him when that happened, and we said so to the staff, who immediately started investigations. Who knows what earth-shattering things are happening today?
It is interesting that, when I left the chamber last night, members were speaking about Supporters Direct, the mutual approach to football for supporters across Scotland. This morning, we again focus our attention on a debate about mutualisation of the water industry.
Come, Wendy, salvation is this way, bring Helen Eadie into your innermost circle, consult her at length on matters profound, cede to her towering intellect, and claim her as your own.

Before thrusting away from el Gordo and contemplating paths long ignored by Labour, like socialism, before committing your merry band of 46 to supporting the SNP Scottish Government in return for a week's headlines, before saying "of course I checked the rules afterwards instead of before but there was no intentional Bill-promising", think!

Before doing any of this, think to yourself "What Would Helen Do?" WWHD - sorry the acronym doesn't work very well, but the policy would!


Anonymous said...

On the greens....

Its not an autonmous leadewr in Scotland as the party is Scotland is a completley seperate body from the English Green Party. They amicably went their seperate ways some years ago.

So the Scottish Green Party just has a leader...not a leader of an autonomous (or semi autonomous) unit such as the Tories and the Lib Dems.

Although since we're being smarty pants it should be pointed out that the Greens have not 1 but 2 leaders!

But that aside perhaps it is time for Labour in Scotland to go their own way - can we look forward to Helen Eadie procliaming their UDI on the steps of John Smith House?

Calum Cashley said...

A Scottish Party - so how much more autonomous can you get?

To be fair, I was aware that the Greens have co-Convenors, male and female, and that Councillor Alison Johnstone is one - I think Robin is the other?

There's a wee memory at the back of my brain that there was once a pan-European Green Party federation, I can't be sure of it but I think an independent Scottish party is a better gig in any case.

I'm sure we can look forward to Helen Eadie proclaiming.